Wednesday, November 16, 2016

A Transformation...

I am completely OBSESSED with love.
With the thought of being in love.
I tried to convince myself that I should be ashamed about this.
I am not.
I am ashamed that I have failed to do right by myself because I've wanted someone else to validate my worth.
I know how great I am, I've just wanted so badly for someone else to know how great I am.
Today, I am grateful for second chances.
I am grateful for the realization that all I ever wanted, I've had it all along.
The love that I have been looking for, I have it. I don't need anyone to know how great I am as long as I know it. I don't need anyone to love every part of me, because I can give myself that same love. I don't have to question or doubt it.

I took myself on a date yesterday. Dinner and a movie. I sat in a movie theatre. All alone and I enjoyed my own company. I cried.
Then I sat alone in a restaurant and I had a meal surrounded by a ton of people, families, couples friends engaging in converstation and there I was...enjoying my own company. I was alone but I wasn't lonely. At all.

I thought a lot. About me. My life isn't nearly where I want it to be but I spent my time at dinner reflecting on the things that I am grateful for every day:

I am grateful for my job and the opportunity to earn money doing something that I love doing.
I am grateful for my ability to create.
I am grateful for my ability to love, fearlessly.
I am grateful that there is no where to go but UP.

I am happy with who I am. I am beautiful enough for ME. I am good enough for ME. I am worthy enough...FOR ME. I know there is someone out there who will someday appreciate all of who I am but until then, it's me and you, Brandi.

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